I get paid to write these. Oh, and I hate myself.
So, I work at this fancy glasses store. Totally rewarding. But sometimes I’m asked to write brief descriptions of the product. I know that sounds easy, but trust me it’s not. It’s very, very hard for me. In fact, I think it may be killing me. Seriously. Each time I write a frame description, I vomit a little bit in my mouth, my immune system weakens, and I inch closer and closer to becoming a twink.
Here’s a sampling of some of my handiwork:
NOMAD: Literally the flashiest aviator in the MFO collection, the nomad combines flash mirror lenses with shiny beta-titanium flat fronts. Finished off with sleek titanium temples, the Nomad has not only a great feel, but a no-nonsense look that works for every season.”
PRIMROSE & WISTERIA: A precise mixture of elegance and whimsy. These plastic frames work well as a sun or prescription frame. Both get their namesake from the beautiful blooming engravings left on the temples and framefronts. Whether you’re more partial to the cat-eyed Primrose or the oval-shaped Wisteria, we know you won’t be disappointed.
IKE & TINA*: Bold and chic. These are two of the largest frames MFO has ever made, both in terms of size and impact. The large square Tina is the next step up for all the fans of Elektra, while the Ike’s beveled top edge and thick temples artfully combines edginess with elegance. Both are perfect options for someone looking to stand out in a crowd.
Thank god I have a BFA in creative writing. And a lot of pride in everything I do.
…yeah…
I’m gonna go do push ups in the bathroom and cry a little.
*= The first in a new Domestic Violence line we’re rolling out.
