TGIF!

Anyone see the Prez do stand up the other night?

People in the audience:

“Haha! Why are we clapping?”

“Because the world is dying. Wooo!”

The internet <3's M.C. Rove

“It’s funny because he subjugates black people!”

“I know, riiiight? It’s, like, his job as a civil servant. LOL!”

Iraq = :’(

Hey, remember Hurricane Katrina? That was fucked up too. Right, Lil’ Wayne?

Eeeek! When did Lil’ Wayne become a poignant social commentator? Via underground mixtape, no less.

Lil’ Wayne is so Frank Rich right now. Also, he’s 6 months older than me. And the best rapper alive.

Best part of losing two Jaguars? Being 23 years old and having two Jaguars.

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Come to Invite Them Up tonight at Rififi. It’s hosted by Bobby Tisdale and Eugene Mirman. Performing: Debbie Shea, Reggie Watts, AD Miles, me, and more!

Doors open around 8:30. $5.

You should really go. I’m super popular.

My proposal: that the 50-foot Michael Jackson robot be surrounded by 50-foot robots of curious/frightened Japanese people.

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Tefillin Barbie. No question I’d hit that.

Well, maybe through a hole in a sheet.

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My good friend, Adam Malamut, is a genius. I lived with him during college and look back upon our days together with an almost-gay sentimentality. He was the only frat boy I ever got along with. But, to be fair, he was a frat boy at Emerson College. Which meant that instead of date-raping girls, he spent most of his time writing his own brand of 80’s synth-rock. Really, really good 80’s synth rock.

A while back, Noah and I asked Adam to write a short theme song for our show, Totally J.K. Two weeks later, Adam sent back not one but two theme songs for us to choose from. We couldn’t have been happier with the results; each was a masterpiece in its own right. So hard was it for us to decide which was better, we ended up making one a theme song and the other, a closing theme song.

You should really take a listen…

Theme Song: “J.K. NEVER HURT NO ONE”

Closing Theme Song: “IT WAS ALL J.K.”

Amazing.

I’ve been reading a lot books lately about Abraham Lincoln.

He had a rough life. First of all, he was raised in a log cabin. Gross. He ends up looking like an ape, but has the voice of a  little girl. Racist people back then fucking hated him. Plus, his wife was major ugz and his kid died in the White House. So shitty. Despite all that, he still managed to preserve the Union and free the slaves. And there were a ton of slaves back then. He was an amazing dude all around.

So like two nights after General Lee surrenders, pretty much sealing a Union victory, Lincoln decides to take a night off. He tries to go out and enjoy a play with his ugly wife, when BAM, John Wilkes Booth shoots him in the head. So shitty!

His killer then jumps from the balcony onto the stage, breaks his leg upon impact, yells some shit in Latin, hobbles out of the theater, and escapes. The audience, meanwhile, does nothing. Because they think it’s a part of the play. Seriously. They thought their president, Abraham Lincoln, was participating in some experimental break-the-fourth-wall theater. Two nights after saving the country. Playing a supporting role. As an assassination victim. Idiots.

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@ Rififi: 332 E 11th St.

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Hollywood , CA

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Los Angeles , CA

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Los Angeles , CA