So, the blogosphere is abuzz about Cam’Ron’s (two apostrophes = so tight) appearance on 60 Minutes last night.

Many bloggers (or, “faggitz” in Cam’Ronese) seem to think he came off as both stupid and ignorant in the piece, which portrayed him as the posterboy for the Stop Snitchin’ movement in hip-hop. Most are trying to prove Killa Cam’s moral depravity by citing this soundbite:

“If I knew the serial killer was living next door to me? I wouldn’t call and tell anybody on him — but I’d probably move. But I’m not going to call and be like, ‘The serial killer’s in 4E.’”

What’s the problem with that? It’s like I say: let a playa play, let a killa kill.

I’ve said it many times, but if someone were to take the time to make up a Venn Diagram comparing me and Cam’Ron, I think there would be a lot of overlap.

(click to enlarge)

We’re like two G’s in an iPod. I also would never tell the police if I lived next door to a serial killer. I know this is true because when I was in high school I actually didn’t tell the police that I lived next door to a serial killer. 

You see, a good portion of my teenage years was spent watching the strange nighttime activities of my across-the-street neighbor Brent Mooseburger (his first name has been changed for confidentiality (’Mooseburger’ was his actual last name, and also the funniest last name ever)). Mr. Mooseburger seemed like any other ordinary 500 pound slob of a man who mowed his 10′x10′ front lawn with a riding mower.

Here he is with his brother:

The Mooseburger house faced my bedroom, and every couple weeks I would watch the same creepy event unfold: At about 3am, with the light of the full moon illuminating his front yard, Brent Moosebuger would exit his front door and shake hands with a handsome blond man who drove a red Corvette. The blond man would then enter the Mooseburger house, retrieve heavy sacks from inside, and throw them in the back of a rented Ryder truck. After that, the blond man would leave in the Ryder truck and Brent Mooseburger would light a cigar and start shoveling dirt into his basement through a broken window.

I watched this happen at least 20 times. Whatever was going on in that basement was not good. There were definitely bodies down there. Possibly little children being ground up into…Mooseburgers! LOL! JK! No, seriously, he probably just chopped them up and threw the body parts into sacks filled with lye.

Who knows? That’s all speculative. All I know is that I never snitched. Not even once (except I told my parents, my friends, and any other person who would listen to me on the internet). Just like Cam’Ron, I kept my mouth shut and never told the police. Mostly because it let me play the starring role in my own private Shia LaBeouf movie remake of Rear Window.

Hey! Do you have 2 hours and 8 minutes to “kill”? Hahaha! Then check the ENTIRE Cam’Ron cinematic masterpiece “Killa Season” available on Google Video. OMGSOTITE.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 23rd, 2007 at 1:13 pm and is filed under Camron, Meat, Serial Killings, Stop Snitchin'. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.