This weekend, as usual, I stayed in and watched re-runs of MTV’s newezt zketch comedy zhow: Nick Cannon Presents…Short Circuitz. If you don’t know what Short Circuitz iz, it’s a sketch comedy show hosted by Nick Cannon, who is not a comedian, featuring an ensemble cast of people who should kill themselves*. The result is maybe my favorite thing to watch on television.

The best thing about this show, aside from the celebrity cameos (Celebrity Fit Club host, Ant, to give one super gay example), is its groundbreaking usage of a new interactive feature called “View and Spew.” What View and Spew does is allow a viewer to watch an episode of Short Circuitz, and at the same time, email their comments to MTV about that Short Circuitz for the chance to have that comment posted on-screen in future broadcasts of that particular Short Circuitz! You know, VIEW and SPEW. Get it? Not only is View and Spew technology like a dream come true, it’s also like a paradigm shift in television history. Only if paradigm shifts went backwards and dreams were the opposite of what they actually are. 

Here are some personal favorites:

Truer words have never been spewed. (That sketch was about a white woman craving black cock.)

“Itz so funny wenn U put kittys in da micrawave, but den itz sooo sad!” - MasterBlastah

“I…just don’t like to think.”- phattee2005

Me too!!!

Nick Cannon’s talents: Getting TV shows, buying hoodies, and not getting aborted.

That last joke may have been a bit harsh. But not really, when you consider that Nick Cannon’s last music video was for a song called “Can I Live,” which is a ballad about how awesome he was at not getting aborted. Seriously. Here, watch it:

And, again, in Sims form:

 * = except for Katt Williams, who is a talent.