I got a full-blown case of it.

 
(artist rendering)

I don’t know what triggered my fear of Danny DeVito. Maybe it was a bad drug experience in college while Get Shorty played on TBS in the background. Or the fact that he’s a troll. Who knows? All I can say is, if you brought me on Maury and tried to have me meet DDV face to face, I’d act exactly like this woman:

So scary.

(Uhm…why does that picture exist?)

Danny DeVito is a fat little gremlin. And I think it’s insane that no one else thinks it’s weird that he’s a movie star. It’s precisely that inexplicable popularity that frightens me so much. He’s a human Pug.  

So anyway, six months after making a drunken spectacle of himself on The View, and blaming it on limoncello, Danny DiVito is now launching his own brand of Limoncello.

(Each bottle is 4 inches tall.)

Really, Danny? Six months go by and now you make a novelty liqueur? If you ask me, that is simply too little too late. Way too little.

Melinda Toolittle.

I love the introduction to that article, by the way.

LIFE dealt Danny DeVito a bunch of lemons, so now he’s selling limoncello.

What was in that bunch of lemons?

Fame

Fortune

Smokin’ hot wife

In conclusion:

• I’m jealous of Danny DeVito’s life.

• THIS is the funniest way to get robbed.

• And THIS is video of that nightmare I had where I’m scuba diving and see a ten-foot long sea-intestine with a snake’s head.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 3rd, 2007 at 11:34 am and is filed under Dogs, Drunk, Fear, Hollywood, Scary Man-Baby. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.