OMG! Fort Dix was almost attacked! 

Six alleged terrorists were arrested last night for their plot to infiltrate and attack Fort Dix.

Seriously how scary is that? Terrorists! In America! Trying to blow up our Dix! Why haven’t the terror alert colors changed? What’s going on?

The six are from the former Yugoslavia…

…they trained in the Poconos Mountains…

…they played paintball…

…the individuals are “hardly hard core terrorists,” one law enforcement source said….

…”not the type that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up.”

Wait. Are you kidding me? Nerd terrorists? Like, an actual revenge of the nerds?

That makes this dude America. (Which I guess he sort of is, foreign policy-wise.) 

I seriously can’t wait to see the mugshots. $20 says one of them is wearing a Vote For Pedro shirt.

At least 50% of their TiVo is G4 programming.

One of the sources said there is a video and an audiotape of the planning.

The video:

The audiotape:

(All midi files of TV theme songs.)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 8th, 2007 at 7:05 am and is filed under Foreigners, Stop Snitchin', Violence. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.