About a year ago I put a short clip of my standup on youtube, in which I call comedienne Kathy Griffin a faggot. A lot. Like, over and over again. In fact, the punchline is, ”Kathy Griffin is such a faggot she’s like three faggots. She’s plural faggots.”
I deliberated long and hard before putting the video online. For one thing, it’s all blurry and makes me look like a teenage goblin. In addition to that, I was worried that if seen out of context, it might make me look intolerant towards all gays, and not just Kathy Griffin.
Ultimately, I chose to make the video public. I thought it was important that if a person searched the words “Kathy Griffin” on youtube, that they at least have the opportunity to see my goblin face calling her a faggot repeatedly.
The video caused a stir immediately. The viewer comments were amazing.
Some were positive:
“This routine is at least as good as stand-up regularly shown on Comedy Central or late night shows.”
“worth watching for sure, nice work”
“Kinda cute, I mean the guy is. lol”
(Click here to see the girl who thinks I’m cute)
A few of the comments were aggressively negative and psychoanalytical:
”this has to be one of the stupidest comedy routines i’ve ever seen….if someone was to guess who was the gay one between you two they defiently [sic] choose you. And yea right you have girlfriend, whats her name..harvey? it seems like your whole comedy act is trying to hide your homosexuality by calling other people gay.”
Most of them, however, were just ambivalent, crazy, or both:
“…meh…”
“Ehhh…”
“…i mean i get what you’re going for but…egh. it’s like calling dame judy dench a nigger.”
(The third category was clearly my favorite…meh…)
After a while though, the Kathy Griffin video lost steam; the daily hits slowed down. My video was no longer on the first page of results when one searched for Kathy Griffin. I actually forgot all about it.
Then, two days ago, I got this comment from a youtube member named Buckshoty. His words changed my life. This is what he wrote:
oh name calling is that all you got? I think Cathy [sic] Griffen [sic] sucks but you make her look good. You’ll never be a good insult comic if all your gonna do is poor impersonation and name calling. Especially something like an overused word like faggot. Wouldn’t quit my day job if I where you.
Obviously, that comment hit me like a ton of bricks. It exposed me as a mean-spirited and unoriginal fraud. But, as strange as it sounds, it liberated me at the same time. I re-evaluated my life and felt compelled to start over. Maybe apply to law school or something.
In other words, it made me feel like such a faggot.
“Who is this Buckshoty person?” I asked myself. “How can I find him and thank him for his expert criticism?”
All I had was his youtube profile.
Apparently, Buckshoty’s day job consists of uploading footage from his Final Fantasy video games and combining it with his collection of symphonic death metal, to make music videos that he then posts on youtube. Only in his spare time does he get to watch youtubes about Kathy Griffin.
This is his latest work, entitled “Cradle of Filth and Final Fantasy 8 Nymphetamine”:
Buckshoty’s such a faggotron he’s like 10^24 faggotrons.
I want that video to get a million hits.
