The National Center for Health Statistics is reporting that American teens are having way less sex than ever before! And the ones who are having sex are doing it safely!

From CNN.com:

Experts couldn’t explain why teen blindness was on the rise. (Seriously, what is that picture? “Aaaah, I got a boner again. Let’s go look at the sun.”)

Hey, CNN and the National Center of Health Statistics, listen up: Teen sex surveys are the least trustworthy things in the universe. Every time I filled one out in high school, I ended up saying I was a pregnant 14 year-old Inuit/Filipino lesbian who had been with over 20 sexual partners (male and female), had six abortions, only used condoms for chewing gum like in the movie Coneheads, and contracted HIV by having anal sex with heroin needles.  

Because why tell the government you’re actually a 16 year-old Jewish virgin who sometimes drank from your Dad’s vodka in the downstairs freezer before staying up all night with all your other virgin friends playing Sega Dreamcast and making mean-spirited dioramas? That would be super lame.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 16th, 2007 at 7:37 am and is filed under AIDS, Drunk, Lezzies, virginz. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.