Every week, my girlfriend punishes me by making me watch So You Think You Can Dance with her. At first, the show was so intensely gay that I couldn’t even handle it. But, as the season progressed I managed to slowly build a tolerance to it, forming a callous on my brain.

During last night’s broadcast, however, there was a dance that totally shattered my new-found resolve. The typical amount of gayness that I’ve grown accustomed to was somehow combined with an equal (if not larger) amount of profound retardation. Plus a hint of Disney. The result was, without rival, the most intensely WTF thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

I’d give Wade Robson PLIPPS, but I feel like he’s already given it to himself. Only a PLIPPS victim would wear a flowy linen hippie shirt with sanskrit lettering all over it. Or choreograph a dance for national television about rabid lesbian foxes. What a mess.