Sometimes I think to myself, “I wish there was a show on TV, a documentary, about a Hollywood actor going abroad to search for spiritual enlightenment. Preferably an actor from the worst show on television. An actor with thinning hair who was also a GAP model and is sometimes in rap videos for no explainable reason.”

Well, guess what? It happened! And it’s in H-muthafuckin’-D, kid!

I’m speaking, of course, of the Discovery HD program called “Jeremy Piven’s Journey of a Lifetime.” It follows the 42 year-old Emmy-award winning star of Entourage, as he travels the subcontinent to finally experience the semester abroad he never got to have as a kid. And we’re all invited along for the ride (in HIGH DEFINITION, no less)!

My favorite part of JP’S JL was when Jeremy Piven visits a temple in Rishikesh, India, and decides to get intensely gay with his new Hindu homeboy, Swami G.

Uhm…is this a TV show? Or the “Introduction to Travel Writing” course I took at Emerson College? Because, seriously, this shit needs some serious peer review and revision.

I love it when he’s like:

“At the end of the river Ganges, I found a sense of peace. A sense of balance I have never felt. This was totally unexpected and unplanned.”

“…it was, like, out of the blue. A complete coincidence that there was a camera crew was following my every move. So weird.”

“Right now I just feel the current of the river Ganges. I kind of feel that current still, in a weird way, flowing. I feel lighter. I mean, if you to say what was the defining moment of this trip, that would definitely be it. That makes it a journey of a lifetime.”

“…a journey of a lifetime I just so happened to executive produce, thank you very much.”

What a douche. And asking Swami G for a mantra? In front of all the cameras? Bad manners, much?

Swami G. is tight, though.

Actually, I think the blooper reel at the end was the worst/best part. (Spoiler alert: he’s the blooper.) Piven clearly had a catchphrase he wanted integrated into the show, but guess what? It’s terribly embarrassing. Also, watch as he somehow manages to be condescending to a monkey.

Thing is, JP, most people can’t be a traveler. Because most people can’t be a movie premium cable TV star.

Jeremy Piven is like that dude at the end of 12 Monkeys, except he’s spreading his PLIPPS all over the world.

I really hope Journey of a Lifetime 2 takes him to Iraq.

Addendum: I’ve been informed that this show first aired months ago, which means what I saw was a rerun. That makes it so much worse.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 31st, 2007 at 1:02 pm and is filed under A Prayer, Faggotron, Hollywood, Love, U got PLIPPS, the oral tradition (non-sexual), who cares?. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.