You really need to see this. It’s a video of my favorite house-arrested rapper, T.I., giving his acceptance speech after winning this year’s award for Best New Federal Gun Charges…

Best part:

“And thank you to the judge for even allowing me the privilege of being on house arrest and being here instead of, you know, the clear alternative.”

“And by that, what I mean is, I’m much more comfortable sitting here at home, underneath the warm light of my two Chihuly chandeliers, in my cashmere bathrobe, making youtubes of me almost speaking coherently, with a comically large cigar appearing in my hands out of nowhere, rather than, uhm…you know…gettin’ all raped and shit. Ya dig?”