E=MC^radical
Just months after John From Cincinnati was canceled for good, suddenly a mysterious “surfer dude” announces to the world that he’s come up with his own groundbreaking theory of the universe.
(Director’s commentary: “It’s funny, I only knew four things about surfing: Cowabunga, Hang 10, Goofy Style, and Sex Wax. But I think it still works.”)
Anyway, a bunch of real scientists are flipping their collective shit over this theory, mostly because it only needs three dimensions to be proven correct, instead of the ten or more fake invisible dimensions previous theories needed to not make any sense at all.
The surfer’s theory is not only madd chill, but also super simple to understand:
All fields of the standard model and gravity are unified as an E8 principal bundle connection. A non-compact real form of the E8 Lie algebra has G2 and F4 subalgebras which break down to strong su(3), electroweak su(2) x u(1), gravitational so(3,1), the frame-Higgs, and three generations of fermions related by triality. The interactions and dynamics of these 1-form and Grassmann valued parts of an E8 superconnection are described by the curvature and action over a four dimensional base manifold.
Totally, brah. Fermions are soooo electroweak.
Basically, he’s saying the universe is shaped like an enormous E8.
Which, if true, proves my theory that the big bang looked like this:
Barf. I’m sorry. That was so much work just so I could make a retarded Spirograph reference.
Blogs are so tight.
