I was watching HBO the other day when a movie from 1999 called Simon Sez came on. I don’t remember ever seeing or hearing anything about this movie when it came out, but it’s an action/comedy/buddy flick starring the dynamic tandem of actor Dennis Rodman and actor Dane Cook.

That’s right, Dennis Rodman and Dane Cook. Together. In a movie.

Needless to say, it’s beyond amazing. (And the only thing beyond amazing is very shitty.) After watching it in its entirety, my only wish was that they made a Criterion edition of this movie, so I could go back and watch it over and over again with commentary from the two lead actors. Too bad that will never happen because, sadly, Dennis Rodman is dead.

At first, I was just going to make a Netflix recommendation for this movie and leave it at that. But then I thought, how many copies of Simon Sez could Netflix possibly have? Three? I hope it’s no more than three. And the last thing I want is to start some kind of widespread queue frenzy, with people fighting over a few limited Dane Cook DVDs. Because that would only cause a tension and resentment between viewers that would ultimately distract everyone from the quiet brilliance of this remarkable film. So instead, as a public service, I went ahead and condensed the entire movie down into a short, manageable web video for everyone to enjoy.

Here it is, Simon Sez (in 5 Minutes):