Back by semi-popular demand, here’s the Andy Rooney Game from last night’s 60 Minutes:

Check out this fun new game I invented! Here’s how you play: Using Final Cut Pro, take out everything but the first sentence and the last sentence from Andy Rooney’s latest segment on 60 Minutes. Then you put that on youtube. That’s it! Check it out:

See how much fun? I hope he never dies.

Seriously, because it’s only five dollars to see a bunch of amazing performers, most of whom are seldom ever in New York City. Don’t be stupid. Just come to this. Tonight!

Steve Harvey, the well-known radio host and original king of comedy, is sponsoring some kind of weight-loss program called the “2008 Weight-off So You Can Take Your Shirt Off Campaign.” Good for him. Obesity blows. (No homo.) However, the website he made for this weight-loss campaign is completely insane. Like, it defies words. The only way I could describe it was through the use of a venn diagram:

There’s no other way to say it.

PLEASE CLICK THIS LINK AND SEE IT FOR YOURSELF!!!

I wish someone had given me one of Big Boom’s self-help books for my birthday. Maybe “How To Mount a Marble Lion in 5 Easy Steps” or “Make Your Nipples Cross-Eyed!”

I also wish my man Hamburger Jones had taken part in the photoshoot.

With John Mulaney

With John Mulaney

Allow me to introduce you all to Rabbi Mordechai Friedman. He’s the host of a little show on Queens Public Television called Judaism: The Series. I discovered Rabbi Friedman a few days ago while I was flipping through the channels. His intensity can be quite intriguing and I found myself instantly becoming a fan follower. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that I may be Rabbi Mordechai’s only viewer, which is totally unacceptable. This is a man who must be heard.

So, I decided to upload some of his teachings onto youtube for everyone to enjoy. (That’s the Jewish way.) Please enjoy:

I love when he gets mad at the phone number for being antisemitic.

By the way, I season-passed Judaism: The Series on my DVR, so expect a lot more crazy Mordechai clips to come your way in the short future. I really, really hope he becomes an internet sensation and, subsequently, sues me for defamation. (That’s also the Jewish way.)