I just read online that Brad Pitt is in pre-production for a movie called Chad Schmidt. In the movie, Brad Pitt will be playing the title role of Chad Schmidt, a young talented actor living in 1980’s Los Angeles. Schmidt (who, as you may recall, will be played by Brad Pitt) has a hard time getting acting work in Hollywood because he looks remarkably similar to another talented young actor: Brad Pitt (who, of course, will also be played by Brad Pitt). So…just to repeat: Brad Pitt is making a movie about Brad Pitt, starring Brad Pitt as Brad Pitt and a guy who looks exactly like Brad Pitt with a name that rhymes with Brad Pitt.

I hope when Chad Schmidt does eventually come out, it’ll just be Brad Pitt jerking off to his own reflection in a mirror for two hours. (Unless, of course, Vincent Gallo has started shooting Brown Bunny 2, which has a similar plot.)

I heard Eddie Murphy was actually the first one to hear the pitch for Chad Schmidt (though, at the time, the tentative title was “Bleddie Blurphmy”) and he was like, “Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait. So, you want me to play me? And a guy who just kinda looks like me? That’s it? C’mon man, I’m Eddie Murphy! Where’s the fat Korean grandmother? Or the a gay Jamaican priest? I’m not doing no art-house bullshit…me playing me…ridiculous. Someone find me a real script! Something with stereotypes! And a bunch of unnecessary make-up!”

Eddie Murphy is going to be so upset when he reads that.