Earlier this afternoon, singer R. Kelly was found not guilty on all 14 charges of his child pornography case.

GULP! You know this verdict means? KID RIOTS!!!

When asked what he planned to do now that he is legally vindicated, R. Kelly told journalists, “I’m going to Disney World! No, seriously. I’m going to Disney World and taking a leak on all those lil’ motherf*ckers!”

(There. I did it. You’re welcome for that timely reference.)

1. Rabbi Mordechai Friedman may hate Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, but he loves reading from the newspaper…

2. Here’s the latest Andy Rooney Game about wristwatches…

3. And come to my show “Workdays with Maury” this Monday at 8pm!