The cast of HBO’s The Wire will begin campaigning for Barack Obama later this week. You know, because he’s had such a hard time convincing black people and college-educated white people to vote for him.

Which reminds me…Last week I got on the N train and sat down across from a man I recognized as actor Chad L. Coleman, who played the role of Cutty Wise on The Wire. I became very excited and was about to go up to him and ask him about the show. But then I panicked. What if it wasn’t him? You can’t just go up to some random black guy on the subway and ask, “Excuse me, were you on The Wire?”

I was so worried he’d say, “No. I’m just a black guy minding his own business.” And then I would be like, “Oh, right. My mistake. You do have a beard, though. So, obviously I thought you played a criminal on television.”

I felt better when, a few minutes later, he pulled out a script for ABC’s Life on Mars from his bag and began quietly rehearsing his lines to himself. I seemed to have been right all along. But, by that point I hated myself too much to say anything to him.

The end.

So, you should probably just come to the UCB Theater tonight instead. I’ll be performing my show Workdays with Maury alongside the wonderful John Gemberling and the vundarfal (that’s German for “diabetic”) Jenny Slate.

Again, the show starts at 8:00 pm. At 8:30 will be Violet Krumbein’s show “Human Painkiller.”
Ticket reservations? Why, yes. Click here: http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/reservations/create/12856

Yes, the stock market is crashing. And Sarah Palin is the shittiest person alive. But, seriously, WHO CARES? The world may be a tense, scary place right now, but we can’t just live in fear all the time. Occasionally you need to step back, relax, and appreciate the beautiful things in life. Like…the insane programming on Telemundo.

The following clip is from a show called Decisiones. It is, without question, the best thing I’ve ever seen on televisiones.

How great was that? You should probably watch it like 1000 more times. I know I have.

I think I know who should play the Penguin in the next Batman movie…

Sorry, did I say the Penguin? I meant the Melty-Face Chipmunk.

UPDATE: Watch this clip of a Josephine Six-Pack Sarah Palin Supporter on CNN last night (from videogum.com):

It’s not unusual for me to get emails from people, fans mostly (I have the best fans in the world!), asking me for advice.

For example, this morning I got an email from a nice young man named Michael, who wanted to know how I got an internship at the Maury Povich show a few years back. Here is our email exchange (click to enlarge):

That reminds me, come to my show WORKDAYS WITH MAURY at the Upright Citizen’s Theater in NYC! Wednesday, Oct. 15 at 8pm!

If you have any other questions for me or want me to give advice, email me directly at joemande@gmail.com

Here’s the latest Joe and Noah video for 23/6. We help the Senate subcommittee figure out the whole bailout thing. Sort of.

My friend Chris Gethard is still at it, fighting the good fight. Help him take back the fruit!

“Fuck you, Gallagher.” Hilarious.

The economy has really been bumming me out lately. You see, I really like dogs. Especially when dogs are puppies. I’ve been meaning to buy a new puppy, but with the stock market behaving so erratically, I haven’t been able to afford one. At least not a whole one.

I just wish there was some sort of discount pet store near my apartment in Queens. You know? Some super shady place on Steinway Avenue where I could get a puppy–a living, breathing puppy–for $0 down and only $20 a month.

Oh wait…

Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!

Anyway, I got two puppies for free and named them the Lehman Brothers. It’s going to suck when they get repossessed.