So, the blogosphere is abuzz about Cam’Ron’s (two apostrophes = so tight) appearance on 60 Minutes last night.

Many bloggers (or, “faggitz” in Cam’Ronese) seem to think he came off as both stupid and ignorant in the piece, which portrayed him as the posterboy for the Stop Snitchin’ movement in hip-hop. Most are trying to prove Killa Cam’s moral depravity by citing this soundbite:

“If I knew the serial killer was living next door to me? I wouldn’t call and tell anybody on him — but I’d probably move. But I’m not going to call and be like, ‘The serial killer’s in 4E.’”

What’s the problem with that? It’s like I say: let a playa play, let a killa kill.

I’ve said it many times, but if someone were to take the time to make up a Venn Diagram comparing me and Cam’Ron, I think there would be a lot of overlap.

(click to enlarge)

We’re like two G’s in an iPod. I also would never tell the police if I lived next door to a serial killer. I know this is true because when I was in high school I actually didn’t tell the police that I lived next door to a serial killer. 

You see, a good portion of my teenage years was spent watching the strange nighttime activities of my across-the-street neighbor Brent Mooseburger (his first name has been changed for confidentiality (’Mooseburger’ was his actual last name, and also the funniest last name ever)). Mr. Mooseburger seemed like any other ordinary 500 pound slob of a man who mowed his 10′x10′ front lawn with a riding mower.

Here he is with his brother:

The Mooseburger house faced my bedroom, and every couple weeks I would watch the same creepy event unfold: At about 3am, with the light of the full moon illuminating his front yard, Brent Moosebuger would exit his front door and shake hands with a handsome blond man who drove a red Corvette. The blond man would then enter the Mooseburger house, retrieve heavy sacks from inside, and throw them in the back of a rented Ryder truck. After that, the blond man would leave in the Ryder truck and Brent Mooseburger would light a cigar and start shoveling dirt into his basement through a broken window.

(more…)

Because Cam’Ron is going to be on 60 Minutes this Sunday!

Anderson Cooper (America’s favorite closeted gay) is interviewing Cam’Ron (my favorite borderline-retarded millionaire) on the topic of hip-hop’s animosity towards the police. This, to me, is on par with the Super Bowl.

I can’t wait.

Tonight on 60 Minutes: Anderson Cooper’s report on how rappers don’t like police officers. Also, Leslie Stahl discovers that chocolate milk is delicious. And don’t miss Andy Rooney as he tries to describe the beauty of a slide-rule before falling asleep in a puddle of his own drool.

Direct quote from Cam’Ron: “There’s not really to talk about with the police…I mean…for what?” [sic][sic][sic][so fucking sic].

Did you notice the restraint right there? For Cam’Ron to be talking about serial killers on national television and not bust out with something ridiculous like “Cam be a loony rebel, a serial killa/ I eat Fruity Pebbles at yo burial, n*gga,” that takes poise.

Cam’Ron is a hero. Watch it again. Just look at him. He’s stoned out of his mind. Those diamonds are so heavy his earlobes are sinking.

He got a 7 on his SAT’s and makes MILLION$ OF DOLLAR$.

I got a sneak preview of the rest of the Cam’Ron interview, unfortunately it’s only audio. I know, it sucks, but it’s kind of crazy how much Anderson Cooper’s voice sounds exactly like mine. I’d go so far as to say it sounds like a terrible attempt at an impersonation. Click below to listen.

<– Cam’Ron on 60 Minutes.

I am so tight at Garageband & iTunes.