I just read that yesterday, for Valentine’s Day, a man proposed marriage to a woman by using an LOLcat. I also read that when the North Pole melts, everyone will drown and we’ll all deserve it.

Apparently, she said yes. But, to be fair, the woman does look like this.

Consider the following:

1. Anti-freeze toothpaste.
2. Cardboard dumplings.
3. Babies full of needles.
4. Dragon bone consumption.
5. Really bad headaches.
6. 2 billion rats.
7. No Simpsons.
8. Organ harvest prisons.
9. Dog holocaust.
10. Slave kids.
11. Old lady penguin feet.
12. Molten metal accidents.
13. Cyborg pigeons.
14. Faulty penis transplants.
15. Blood-red poop rivers.

No thank you.