Thanks to all the people who came out to Totally J/K (and Crash Test) last night. It was certainly a Labor Day for the ages.

For those of you who missed it, Noah and I presented this incredibly topical and important video, entitled: “Bathroom Body Language.” Please enjoy…

Related video: “Teamwork”

Senior Idaho Senator Larry Craig stepped down as Senatorial liaison for the Mitt Romney presidential campaign yesterday after it was discovered that he was arrested for “lewd conduct” in the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport back in June.

Artist’s interpretation:

You can read the article here. It’s pretty amazing, although I must say I wish the cop was a little more descriptive regarding the “lewd conduct” the Senator was looking to participate in. Because, right now, the whole encounter reads like a Benny Hill sketch. There’s a lot of confused, horny pantomime.

Related story: Mitt Romney’s romance novels

The official trailer for Yeti: A Love Story came out today.

So. Fucking. Embarrassing.

I seriously want to kill myself after watching that. But, if I did, my participation in that movie would be the last thing I ever got onto IMDB. And, therefore, I must carry on.

Here’s the description that went along with it:

It’s “King Kong” meets “Brokeback Mountain” in “Yeti: A Love Story”, a gay themed horror-comedy about a homicidal and wildly homosexual mountain yeti!

Me: “Seriously, Dad, just because I’m in a movie about a gay bigfoot who rapes boys in the woods, that doesn’t make me gay.”
My Dad: “…”
Me: “I don’t even get raped in the movie. I get shot in stomach as I run through the woods in my underwear.”  
My Dad: “…”
Me: “To get away from the gay bigfoot!”

My sincerest congratulations to Adam and E-Rock for getting national distribution on Yeti. I just wish you guys would please go back and pixelate my face out.

As a lot of people know, my second favorite thing about living in New York (after Grey’s Papaya) is going to the annual Gay Pride Parade…with my girlfriend, thank you very much.

Unfortunately, I could not attend this year’s festivities because I was home, with my girlfriend, celebrating Father’s Day.

Such inconsiderate scheduling, and not just for me. I mean, gay dads exist. What’s a gay dad supposed to do when the parade is planned on Father’s Day? He probably wakes up, brushes his teeth, puts on the silly glasses and special leather g-string he laid out the night before, totally ready to jump on a float and writhe with other men for the whole afternoon. Then he walks downstairs to find his two children making him breakfast.

Children: Happy Father’s Day!
Gay Dad: Oh! Thank you, kids. That’s so sweet.
Children: We made you breakfast!
Gay Dad: Wow! Uhm…would you mind rolling it up in a tortilla or something? I actually have to go to this thing right now.
Children: But, we bought you a present.

Gay Dad opens the present. It’s a bottle of shampoo.

Gay Dad: Shampoo?
Children: Well, last year you kept saying how hard it was to get all the semen and glitter out of your hair.
Gay Dad: You are the best kids a gay dad could ask for.

They hug.

Gay Dad: But, seriously kids, I have to go grind with men on the back of a flatbed and pour Dasani on myself. I’ll catch up with you later, though. Kisses!

The end.

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