I just watched this 100 times, and…I think that might make me a sex criminal?

Quick recap: the polar ice caps are melting, the government is bankrupting itself, and kids are shooting each other in the face with cumguns.

Evolution? Really, RG? Good call on that one. Because gun nuts love science terms.

Here’s a transcript of his speech:

“Good morning, NRA. Thank you for inviting me today. I believe guns came from monkeys. 9-11, 9-11, 9-11. Vote for me. (fart noise)”

He didn’t actually say that. But…sort of.

After listening to this song endlessly on repeat for the past two weeks or so, I still can’t tell if I think it’s the best or worst thing ever:

I’d go see that. Broadway needs an all-Beatles mash-up musical. And Lil Wayne is just the man ambitious (stoned) enough to do it.

PS- I didn’t know what to name this post. Here’s a list of others I had in mind:

(more…)

I’m not normally a gossip, but I have some very juicy inside-info about a new HOLLYWOOD POWER COUPLE!

My sources* tell me that skanktress Lindsey Lohan is bedding the best rapper alive, Lil’ Wayne!

Move over, TomKat and Brangelina! It’s Lindl’ Wayhan! It’s a match made in heaven prison.

My sources* tell me that this relationship is the real deal, people. They are totes goo-goo-ga-ga for each other. And when they’re apart, they go so far as to coordinate their felony arrests! How romantic is that? Like, last night Lindsay got busted for drunk driving and cocaine possession in Santa Monica while Lil’ Wayne getting charged for gun possession in New York City. TOO CUTE!

A Santa Monica Police representative said that ”Lindsay looks really happy,” and “Cocaine was found in her pants pocket.” 

Meanwhile, an NYPD officer told me privately that, ”Lil’ Wayne wants to marry that girl,” and “Another person, so far uncharged, stuffed 7 pounds of marijuana down the tour bus’ toilet as officers approached.”

Are those wedding bells I hear? No, wait, sorry. Those are sirens.

(Thanks to Greg Johnson for the Drudge sirens.)

Besides substance abuse problems, they both have daddy issues too!

For real, though, please let me know if/when ”FREE WEEZY” t-shirts become available on-line, because I’m going to want to order at least ten of them.

*= wishful imagination