TONIGHT!

“Workdays with Maury”
Wednesday, July 9th @ 8pm
UCB Theater: 307 W. 26th St.

I am performing my one-man (two-man, one-woman) show “Workdays with Maury” this Wednesday at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theater in New York City. It will be my final performance of July. And maybe ever. Who knows? You probably don’t want to miss it. I’m going to win an Oscar. If you’ve yet to see the show, it’s a lot like the movie Hancock, except it stars me playing myself when I used to work as an intern at the Maury Povich show.

Joining me are JENNY SLATE and KURT BRAUNOHLER. Two of the finest actors I know.

For tickets: http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/reservations/create/12224

TOMORROW NIGHT!

Totally JK with Joe and Noah
Thursday, July 10 @ 8pm
Rififi: 332 E 11th St.

Featuring performances by Mike Dobbins (who is a genius), Dan Naturman (from Last Comic Standing), Stone and Stone (also from Last Comic Standing), Nick Maritato (Here’s the Thing), and much more!

FRIDAY NIGHT!!!

The Technology Readings: A Night of Comedy
Friday, July 11 @ 7:30 pm
The New Museum theater:235 Bowery St.

A group of Internet-addicted New York comedians perform readings on the joys and pitfalls of a technology-saturated culture. The evening will include Chelsea Peretti, Amy Poehler, John Roberts, Joe Mande, and Curtis Gwinn, among others—all notable for gaining fame on the Internet, from Roberts’ YouTube monologues to Peretti’s episodic online shows including the six-part series “All My Exes.”

Tickets: http://www.museumtix.com/venue/program.asp?pvt=new&vid=726&pid=2053087&code=

You are expected to attend all of these. Thanks in advance.

The NY Press interviewed me about my show Workdays with Maury. You should check it out.
In case you were wondering, the NY Press is New York’s “premier alternative newspaper,” which is great because Alternative news is my favorite kind of news. The Iraq War is all over the place, like T. Pain. Therefore, my show at UCB is Santogold. Or something. How about a Lil Wayne mixtape? Yeah, that’s better. Workdays with Maury is Da Drought 3 of news.

1. Rabbi Mordechai Friedman may hate Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, but he loves reading from the newspaper…

2. Here’s the latest Andy Rooney Game about wristwatches…

3. And come to my show “Workdays with Maury” this Monday at 8pm!

Hello friends,

This upcoming Monday night, I will be performing my “Workdays with Maury” show at the UCB Theater here in New York City. Here’s your chance to hear my story about working as an unpaid intern at The Maury Povich Show.

For ticket reservations, you can go here: http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/reservations/create/11976 .

Before I begin, I’d like to first thank all my devoted friends who came to both of my shows last night. I didn’t think anyone would actually do that. The only person I ever paid money to see twice in one day was Jackie Chan, the day Shanghai Noon came out. (Ah, to be seventeen again.)

Today, in honor of these wonderful people, I will be posting not one, but TWO youtubes.

Here’s last week’s Andy Rooney game:

And here’s Rabbi Mordechai Friedman getting so upset about the Pope that he does a comical spit-take:

This Thursday, I will be taking part in two very exciting shows. The first one, “Workdays with Maury,” is at 6:30 pm at the UCB Theater. It’s a little thing I wrote about my adventures working as an unpaid intern at The Maury Povich Show. It’s sort of trial run, so this may or may not be the only time I perform it.

Then at 8:00 pm, as always, I will be hosting Totally JK at Rififi with my friend Noah Garfinkel.

My real friends will make it to both of these.

Happy br’08, everyone. Hope you all had a pleasant and familial holiday season, full of joy and life lessons. Myself, I learned that baby-back ribs do NOT work as a New Year’s hangover remedy. (You just compound your headache with so much diarrhea.)

We’re three days into ‘08 already, and I’m happy to say that I’m staying good on my New Years resolutions, which were:

1. Never leave my apartment, no matter what.
2. Get so fat and also sad.
3. Get real-life gang members to leave comments on my blog.
4. Consider becoming a Hispanic person.

So far so good. A result of resolutions #1 and #2, I’m back to my old habit of watching a lot of Maury. And, as a result of watching a lot of Maury, I was introduced to–and soon fell in love with–an enormous black woman named Yolanda. I don’t want to give anything away, but just know that Yolanda is the new Monique.