In an attempt to solve a large shortfall in the state budget, legislatures in California are trying to put a tax on pornography. According to the article I read, this is the reason they think the tax will work:

“Many economists believe that pornography is an industry with inelastic demand — meaning market conditions typically don’t affect consumers’ desire for the product.”

“Inelastic demand.” Really? Inelastic? As in, hard? As in, the demand for porn is always hard? Gross.

“In other words, it is believed that most porn consumers would continue to buy regardless of how much it cost.”

Really? Let’s ask a porn consumer how he feels about the California porn tax:

(Classic Mande .gif!)

I wonder how Arnold Schwarzenegger came up the porn tax idea…

That man is a governor.

You know who I’m happy for? NPR’s Mo Rocca. (Seen here next to a fan.)

He’s a successful man, which makes sense because he’s so good at what he does.

The following sentence can be found on Mo Rocca’s wikipedia page, and it’s quite possibly be the funniest thing I’ve read in months:

He [Mo Rocca] worked as a writer and producer for the children’s television series Wishbone (1995), The Wubbulous World of Dr. Seuss (1996) and Pepper Ann (1997), and also as a consulting editor to the men’s magazine Perfect 10.

Perfect 10? Oh, you mean the porn mag for breast fetishists? Awesome.

Here’s a video of Mo Rocca doing his thing as a celebrity judge on Food Network’s Iron Chef America:

He went to Harvard.

I made this animation (to use as a tutorial for what to do after I tell a joke):

Mo Rocca, consider yourself PLIPPSED. You’ll never live up to the original Mo of comedy:

You know? From G.U.T.S.?

It’s like The Rocketeer got raped by Transformers.

Check out this fun new game I invented! Here’s how you play: Using Final Cut Pro, take out everything but the first sentence and the last sentence from Andy Rooney’s latest segment on 60 Minutes. Then you put that on youtube. That’s it! Check it out:

See how much fun? I hope he never dies.

Sorry to go back to the Rock The Cradle thing again (the story just won’t die!), but I still don’t understand why my favorite singer in the world, Ben Taylor, son of James Taylor and Carly Simon, didn’t sign up to be a contestant. He’s madd chill. And he totally owns a MacBookPro.

As well as a trampoline (boing!)

Plus, he’s got an Ab Gazebo that his dad built for him. (Best 30th birthday present ever!!! )

Ben Taylor has written some great songs done so many crunches in that gazebo.

This song is on his myspace. It’s Ben Taylor’s version of Snoop Dogg’s “Sensual Seduction,” screwed & chopped & folk-tified.

I like the little laugh at the very end. You can almost see him rolling his eyes like, “Silly black people…” He should go on tour with these guys.

Anyway, I’m sure his parents are really proud of him. Totally met all expectations. I suppose that’s why he didn’t feel the need to go on MTV. He doesn’t have anything to prove to anyone, least of all his girlfriend (who some say is the prettiest girl in the universe).

(more…)

Okay! Okay! I take it back! I want to be Jewish again. Sorry! What are you going to do sue me?…What, really? You will?

A few days ago, I got so enamored by the evangelical website www.godtube.com, that my faith began to waver a bit. Thankfully, my good friend Ethan just informed me about www.jewtube.com (motto: “Here’s Looking at Jew!”) and, needless to say, I’m back!

Jewtube is so awesome!!! It’s all the mirth and wonderment of Judaism broken up into literally hundreds of exciting, easy-to-watch viral videos.

This one is called “Chanukah Party.”

PAAAARRRRTYYYYYYY!!!! So jealous. That place was bumping. So insaaane. Almost NSFW. Speaking of, have you ever wondered what a fully erected (LOL!) sukkah looked like? Check this out:

(Warning, you might need your inhaler, because this vid is action packed.)

The one and only comment for that video:

THAT’S INTERESTING!

Here’s a Rabbi talking about sex. Kind of? I dare you to watch more than a minute. I couldn’t.

That Rabbi has uploaded like 400 videos on Jewtube. I bet he makes over 100K a year.

(Other must-sees include “Bat Mitzvah Borat” and “Purim Rap.”)

PS: Come to Totally JK tonight!

SHOWALTER! OLD SPRINGS PIKE! GREGJOHNSONONLINE.BLOGSPOT.COM!!!! This one is not to miss, folks!

I just read that yesterday, for Valentine’s Day, a man proposed marriage to a woman by using an LOLcat. I also read that when the North Pole melts, everyone will drown and we’ll all deserve it.

Apparently, she said yes. But, to be fair, the woman does look like this.