I was reading the news this morning, because I enjoy stories of black men beating white women (especially when the white woman deserves it). There’s an article on ABCnews.com that describes just how desperate and pathetic the Hillary Clinton campaign has become.

“For Hillary Clinton in particular, this week is do or die…Camp Clinton is hoping for a swing in the pendulum of media sympathy and scrutiny — and they hope every reporter in the country saw the opening skit in the return of Saturday Night Live.”

Really? Why doesn’t she ask all the reporters in the country to water-board themselves while they’re at it? Because, yikes, that shit was terrrrrible.

The best part of the article though, had to be its accompanying picture, seen here:

It’s Hillary the Hillariveter! That is so Hillarelevant! Good job, Clinton fans. Nothing attracts the youth vote more than photoshopping your candidate’s face onto WWII propaganda. Idiots. Y’all just got PLIPP’d.

I mean, if you’re going to do it, fucking do it. Here are some posters I made for the Hillary campaign:

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For the past two years, I’ve had a full-time job at a fancy glasses store in Soho. However, I’m sad to say, today is my last day in the optical business.

During my time as an eyeglass employee, I’ve slowly been demoted from copywriter to window display artist to, finally, delivery boy. It’s been a long, strange experience that I feel deserves a long, self-indulgent recap.

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Dear Mom and Dad,

I’m doing a show tonight in the city where lawyers get fired for having A.I.D.S. of brotherly love. Since that’s where you live, I’m sure I’ll see you there. Please sit as far in the back as possible. Thank you.

Love,
Joe

Here is all the information:

(Still)Born in the USA Comedy Tour
Tuesday, October 9th, 2007
Philadelphia, PA
The Khyber Bar: 56 S. Second Street 
8 PM - $8

with: Jonah Ray (Human Giant and The Sarah Silverman Program)
Sean O’Connor
Nick Maritato
Andrew Wright
Chris McDevitt
w/ guests
Your son: Joe Mande, His friend who came to Passover: Noah Garfinkel, Kent Haines, Jimmie Allinder and Wrestling Team