The economy has really been bumming me out lately. You see, I really like dogs. Especially when dogs are puppies. I’ve been meaning to buy a new puppy, but with the stock market behaving so erratically, I haven’t been able to afford one. At least not a whole one.

I just wish there was some sort of discount pet store near my apartment in Queens. You know? Some super shady place on Steinway Avenue where I could get a puppy–a living, breathing puppy–for $0 down and only $20 a month.

Oh wait…

Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!

Anyway, I got two puppies for free and named them the Lehman Brothers. It’s going to suck when they get repossessed.

Look, before you watch this video, just know in advance that I’m sorry.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

I don’t know if you heard the sad news, but Rififi closed down for good last night. This obviously means that my show Totally J/K will be forced to go on a temporary hiatus until Noah and I find a proper replacement venue.

There had been rumors swirling for months saying Rififi was on the verge of closing down, but last night it finally happened. Last night was the last show at Rififi ever. You can see pictures of it here. It was nuts.

Rififi was a small, dark, often smelly place with bathrooms that probably gave you AIDS. It was also my favorite place to do comedy in NYC and I will miss it very much.