Archive for the 'Stop Snitchin'' Category

Fuck Me Do

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007

After listening to this song endlessly on repeat for the past two weeks or so, I still can’t tell if I think it’s the best or worst thing ever:

Imagine all the bitches

I’d go see that. Broadway needs an all-Beatles mash-up musical. And Lil Wayne is just the man ambitious (stoned) enough to do it.

PS- I didn’t know what to name this post. Here’s a list of others I had in mind:

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Poor baby

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007

I’m not the first person to say this, but Michael Vick is an asshole.

 

Thank God I bought that rap time machine.

Friday, August 3rd, 2007

Hey, have you heard the new hot jam of the summer? It’s Will.I.Am’s “I Got It From My Mama”? Check it out, it’s dope!

Got it from my mama? LOL! That is classic Will.I.Am, right there! Boy, I’ll tell ya. That guy is something else. He’s maybe the most original voice we have in mainstream hip-hop today. An unparalled talent.

(Joe sets time machine back to 2002.)

Hey, have you heard the new hot jam of the summer? It’s Juvenile’s “Mama Got Ass (She Get it From Her Mama)”? Check it out, it’s the bomb!

Got it from her mama? LOL! That is too much! This Juvenile guy is something else. He’s on a whole other plane. A rap song about ass genetics? Forget about it. No one is even close to doing what he’s doing. NOR WILL ANYONE EVER COME CLOSE. That’s my prediction.

Free at last!

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007

I. Lewis Scooter Libby was granted clemency by President Bush yesterday, thus insuring that the former chief of staff to the Vice President will not have to serve any of his 30 month prison sentence for perjury and obstruction of justice in the CIA leak investigation.

Libby don’t snitch

A lot of people are upset about this, especially the Democratic presidential candidates. 

“This is exactly the kind of politics we must change so we can begin restoring the American people’s faith in a government.” - Barack Obama

“The cause of equal justice in America took a serious blow today.” - John Edwards

“Today’s decision is yet another example that this Administration simply considers itself above the law.” - Hillary Clinton

“This coffee made me farty! (followed by 40 seconds of growling)” - Mike Gravel

Part of me feels this is a miscarriage of justice. One of many this administration has perpetrated since stealing the election in 2000. However, I have to admit it’s comforting to know that in America, if sleazy Jew makes enough friends, he won’t ever have to spend a day in prison. That’s all someone like me can hope for.

Fort Dix safe from pussies

Tuesday, May 8th, 2007

OMG! Fort Dix was almost attacked! 

Six alleged terrorists were arrested last night for their plot to infiltrate and attack Fort Dix.

Seriously how scary is that? Terrorists! In America! Trying to blow up our Dix! Why haven’t the terror alert colors changed? What’s going on?

The six are from the former Yugoslavia…

…they trained in the Poconos Mountains…

…they played paintball…

…the individuals are “hardly hard core terrorists,” one law enforcement source said….

…”not the type that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up.”

Wait. Are you kidding me? Nerd terrorists? Like, an actual revenge of the nerds?

That makes this dude America. (Which I guess he sort of is, foreign policy-wise.) 

I seriously can’t wait to see the mugshots. $20 says one of them is wearing a Vote For Pedro shirt.

At least 50% of their TiVo is G4 programming.

One of the sources said there is a video and an audiotape of the planning.

The video:

The audiotape:

Dix Mix 06

(All midi files of TV theme songs.)

OMG! I h8 snitches 2!

Monday, April 23rd, 2007

So, the blogosphere is abuzz about Cam’Ron’s (two apostrophes = so tight) appearance on 60 Minutes last night.

Many bloggers (or, “faggitz” in Cam’Ronese) seem to think he came off as both stupid and ignorant in the piece, which portrayed him as the posterboy for the Stop Snitchin’ movement in hip-hop. Most are trying to prove Killa Cam’s moral depravity by citing this soundbite:

“If I knew the serial killer was living next door to me? I wouldn’t call and tell anybody on him — but I’d probably move. But I’m not going to call and be like, ‘The serial killer’s in 4E.’”

What’s the problem with that? It’s like I say: let a playa play, let a killa kill.

I’ve said it many times, but if someone were to take the time to make up a Venn Diagram comparing me and Cam’Ron, I think there would be a lot of overlap.

Venn Diagram
(click to enlarge)

We’re like two G’s in an iPod. I also would never tell the police if I lived next door to a serial killer. I know this is true because when I was in high school I actually didn’t tell the police that I lived next door to a serial killer. 

You see, a good portion of my teenage years was spent watching the strange nighttime activities of my across-the-street neighbor Brent Mooseburger (his first name has been changed for confidentiality (’Mooseburger’ was his actual last name, and also the funniest last name ever)). Mr. Mooseburger seemed like any other ordinary 500 pound slob of a man who mowed his 10′x10′ front lawn with a riding mower.

Here he is with his brother:

The Mooseburger house faced my bedroom, and every couple weeks I would watch the same creepy event unfold: At about 3am, with the light of the full moon illuminating his front yard, Brent Moosebuger would exit his front door and shake hands with a handsome blond man who drove a red Corvette. The blond man would then enter the Mooseburger house, retrieve heavy sacks from inside, and throw them in the back of a rented Ryder truck. After that, the blond man would leave in the Ryder truck and Brent Mooseburger would light a cigar and start shoveling dirt into his basement through a broken window.

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