Happy 9-11, y’all
Thursday, September 11th, 2008Look, before you watch this video, just know in advance that I’m sorry.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Archive for the 'War on Terrorism' Category
More like The OLD Yorker.
Wednesday, July 16th, 2008As many of you know, I am a part-time political cartoonist.
So, anyway…last week I drew a picture that ended up on the cover of the New Yorker magazine. Maybe you heard about it on the news? It showed Barack Obama (dressed up like a sleepy Muslim) in the oval office (burning an American flag) giving ‘daps’ to his wife Michelle (who is dressed like a Black Panther and also Pam Grier). Some people took offense to it, but the New Yorker LOVED IT. So much so, that they asked me to make another cover for next week’s issue. I decided the best thing to do would be to show John McCain and his wife Cindy in the oval office as well. Only this time around, I decided to make a much more realistic portrait. I hope you like it!
One sentence movie review of “Iron Man”
Wednesday, May 7th, 2008
It’s like The Rocketeer got raped by Transformers.
It’s 3:00 am, do you know where the people who want to kill your kids are?
Friday, February 29th, 2008A lot of people are criticizing Hillary Clinton’s newest campaign advertisement, saying she’s using a cheap and desperate scare tactic to garner the last-minute votes of undecided stupid people. Frankly, I disagree. I think it’s her best and most truthful ad to date.
She’s the worst.
Early front-runner for Headline of the Year:
Tuesday, February 26th, 2008
The only thing more embarrassing than Hillary Clinton is the group of cretins voting for Hillary Clinton
Monday, February 25th, 2008I was reading the news this morning, because I enjoy stories of black men beating white women (especially when the white woman deserves it). There’s an article on ABCnews.com that describes just how desperate and pathetic the Hillary Clinton campaign has become.
“For Hillary Clinton in particular, this week is do or die…Camp Clinton is hoping for a swing in the pendulum of media sympathy and scrutiny — and they hope every reporter in the country saw the opening skit in the return of Saturday Night Live.”
Really? Why doesn’t she ask all the reporters in the country to water-board themselves while they’re at it? Because, yikes, that shit was terrrrrible.
The best part of the article though, had to be its accompanying picture, seen here:
It’s Hillary the Hillariveter! That is so Hillarelevant! Good job, Clinton fans. Nothing attracts the youth vote more than photoshopping your candidate’s face onto WWII propaganda. Idiots. Y’all just got PLIPP’d.
I mean, if you’re going to do it, fucking do it. Here are some posters I made for the Hillary campaign:
Jam McCain 2
Thursday, February 14th, 2008Pete Holmes thought of this. He’s funnier than me.
Jam McCain
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008John McCain won all three Potomac primaries last night. And, by doing so, he basically clinched the Wiipublican nomination for the general wiilection. Good for him.
Personally, I always find John McCain’s words to be inspiring. It’s so exciting to watch him speak (because he could seriously drop dead at any moment). Without question, my favorite part of his victory speech was this:
For real, though. I can’t listen to that dude without thinking of Uncrustables. He’s totally in the pocket of the jelly lobby.
A man with a bookshelf–A BOOK SHELF–to bear.
Wednesday, December 19th, 2007Alright. Alright. I admit it. I’m back on the Huckabee bandwagon.
Last week I said I was voting for Tom Tancredo (who I still think is the most qualified and best looking of all the candidates), but right now it doesn’t look like his campaign has much of a chance, which is a shame because he seems to be the only person running who knows the danger of Mexican Jihadists who like to go on shopping mall rampages.
Huckabee, meanwhile, is surging and looking more and more presidential everyday. And by “presidential” I mean “like a deflated tire.” (If Huckabee wins, it’ll be just like my screenplay President Thinner, which was an unauthorized sequel to Steven King’s Thinner combined with a retelling of the 1995 classic The American President.) I’ll listen to any candidate who has overcome morbid obesity. I’ll consider anyone in favor of AIDS colonies. And I’ll fucking endorse any man with a fat ugly son who likes to lynch stray dogs in the woods at Boy Scout camp.
This is a picture of Fat Mike Huckabee next to Skinny Mike Huckabee:
And here’s one of Skinny Mike Huckabee next to a sea turtle:
I really love the new campaign ad from Huckabee. Some people say he’s trying to subliminally use Christian religious symbolism, but I don’t see it.
I have no idea what you’re talking about. There’s nothing creepily religious about that at all.
Here’s Mike Huckabee on MSNBC addressing the “floating cross” controversy:
Mike Huckabee:
“It is a bookshelf people. A. Book. Shelf…Actually, what you didn’t catch was with my eyes I was signaling…a very secret code to all the Evangelicals out there.”
Actually, Governor Thiiiiinnennneeeeeerrrrrrrr, I did catch that.
You can’t secure the borders…of my heart.
Thursday, December 6th, 2007I know I keep changing my mind, but I really think I mean it this time. I’ve decided I’m voting for Tom Tancredo (R-CO) for President of the United States. Why? Because he is strong on the issues I care about.
Uhm…more like: Tancredope.as.fuck. Am I right? What a beast.
He should seriously start calling himself “The Perfect Storm” Tancredo. Dude is the ideal candidate. Not only is he drop dead gorge, but also intimidatingly intelligent. He seems to know exactly what real Americans worry about. I mean, look at the latest authentic news poll I found:
PS: (R-CO) = (Retarded-Cookoo)
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